Yesterday morning, the very gentle and wise Jay Westbrook of Compassionate Journey was kind enough to chat with me over breakfast. During his tough times, Jay was told this quote that, in turn, really spoke to me as well:
"Once you let go of your fantasies, you can start building your dreams." - Jay Westbrook
Wow. I always had this image of me wearing red-soled Louboutins in a beautiful office with a city view at a corporate company (or three), holding office hours for wellness coaching and providing ergonomic assessments for employees. But is this a fantasy?
What's the difference between fantasies and dreams?
Fantasies are unrealistic, whereas dreams are realistic and attainable. Fantasies and disappointment often go hand-in-hand, while dreams and optimism are a happier pairing. We often create fantasies to escape real life, while dreams allow us to build on it. And you are the only one with the power to differentiate between the fantasies and dreams in your life.
As I sit here writing blog posts in my home office (couch) every Tuesday and Thursday that I have off from my hospital job, I realize my Louboutin image is a fantasy. I haven't even approached many corporate offices yet, so how can I fantasize about holding office hours at three? Some companies are barely open to the idea of paying for ergo assessments for their employees, much less spend more company money and time on wellness coaching. I am nowhere close to being comfortable paying $700 for one pair of shoes. And most of all, walking around in Louboutins doing ergo assessments all day is crazy painful.
So the Louboutin Fantasy is being released today. I will Dream instead about acing and having fun at my Cahuenga Branch Library workshop this Saturday (Sign up here!) and reaching out to just three corporate companies to discuss employee wellness workshops and ergonomic assessments by September. And who knows? Maybe someday, my Louboutin fantasy will come back as a Dream.
In business and in health,
It's important to separate the Fantasies from the Dreams, to avoid disappointment, improve self-worth, and build confidence. Instead of focusing on escaping reality, spend your time and energy on making your reality better.
And you know what's amazing?
Your fantasies right now...once you let go of them and start working on your dreams...can someday end up being your dreams.
So shout your fantasies to the wind, and dream on, playas.
Jay Westbrook is the Director and Founder of Compassionate Journey: An End-of-Life Clinical and Education Service. Jay provides guidance to individuals who are dying and their loved ones through the grieving process and to make dying more gentle. He can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.